escape the pain
by syndoline
Summary: Bella was going through a very hard time when she moves to forks. She's mentally not okay. Can Edward help her? Will he find her back when she runs away from forks? What happens when Bella turns into a vampire? UPDATE EVERY 10th AND 25th OF THE MONTH!


**I'm not good at intros, so lets just get right into the story :) I'm dutch so English isnt my first languege so I'm sorry for the mistakes, I'm working on it.**

 **The story starts in Phoenix when Bella still lives with her mom and Phil. want to know what my own characters look like**

 **I hope you enjoy my story ;)**

 **disclaimer: Stephanie owns Twilight. also Aan woordenlijst toevoegen on this story for people with depression, eating disorders or those who selfharm**

 **(if you selfharm, please tell someone and let people help you. Life will get better I promise! and if you have an eating disorder, you are perfect how you are! you're so beautiful, by starving you only ruin your beauty... If anyone needs someone, I'm always here for you. you cant send my a private message or kik me. my kik is: sttttm18 )**

 _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this._ I kept telling myself.

 _No you can't. No you can't._ The evil voice in my head kept discouraging me.

After the 15 minutes walk I reached my highschool. Don't show them you're scared. Okay, there we go. And I headed to the front door. I walked fast, but not too fast, afraid to trip over my own feet as many times before. other kids walked faster and made wide bows arround me while passing me. I didn't really have a close friend to walk together so I didn't have to wait for someone and walked straight to the lockers.

I stood still in front of my locker which of course was glued full with pieces paper with words on it like: "freak "ugly slut" "pig". I didn't want to read more of them so I tried to concentrate on spinning the little weels to the right combination. I opened my locker and grabbed a blank paper and tape. I taped it over the others because I knew I wouldn't have enough time to get them all off my locker. When I was done, I gabbed my books and the bell rang. I headed to my first class.

I sat down at my table in math class. Isaac and Katelyn weren't there yet. were they skipping class? I opened my math book and searched for the right page while wishing that they were skipping class. My wish didn't come true, not one minute later Isaac opened the door and walked in class, followed by Katelyn. when Isaac passed my table he reached with his hand to my book and shove it off the table. "oops" he said with a grin on his face. the whole class laughed and Katelyn gave Isaac a high-five.

Luckily the rest of the hour was normal, the teacher walked in and made everyone work in silence.

Next class, economics, was okay. Only Abel was in that class and he didn't bother making fun of me without his friends. Then lunch and then English. That was the period I worried about.. I had to do a presentation. together with Abby. Abby was okay, we worked together on the presentation. We both did our own part of it. She tried to avoid contact wit me, which I completely understand; she didn't want Noah to be mean to her too.

Noah is the one it all started with. If he doesn't like you, he'll start bullying you. But he has this gang; A group friends trying to impress each other, especially Noah. Noah is the leader of the gang. For me it started in 10th grade. I was a strong, confident girl without fear. Noah started bullying a friend of mine, Lynn. First I thought he would stop at some point but he didn't. It only got worse. So I stood up for her. Noah and I argued till I made the mistake to spit on him. I remember being so proud and the class laughed at him and I felt like a hero. At the end of the day it didn't have any use. The bullying didn't stop, Noah found his gang and they were revengeful and Lynn ended up switching schools. sometimes I still talk to her on skype but not much. She made new friends and I was happy for her and don't want to bother her.

I bought lunch and sat down on an empty table. I looked at the text of my presentation again and hoped I wouldn't forget anything. In the corner of my eye I saw someone dropping a bag on the table which made me jump. I looked up slowly and relaxed when I saw it was just Abby.

"hi" She just said while joining me. This was new for me. Why did she join me? she didn't look happy, she looked down at her plate. should I ask what's wrong? no, I need to give her space. If she'd me to know she'd tell me.

"do you have the USB?" She asked. we both wanted to show some pictures and made a powerpoint of it. She asked me to put it on a USB because she didn't have one.

"yes" I grabbed it out of my bag to show her.

"okay" She said. I expected het to get up and walk away but she didn't. Instead she stayed with me. She still looked down.

"Are you okay?" I decided to ask. She looked up. She wasn't angry for asking. Not at all. She smiled a little "yeah.. Just nervous" She told me. But I saw in her eyes there was more going on than that. I wanted to help her but I didn't want to scare her away or something so I gave her space. "If you need to talk about something, just tell me okay?" I told her. I couldn't help it, I know how it feels to be lonely. She nodded and thanked me.

Time for English. Denise was in this class, Noah's girlfriend..

The English teacher told us to come in front of the class. I gave Abby the USB to plug it in the teachers laptop. I should have done it myself, I realized, too late. The USB wasn't empty.. There were old pictures of me on it.

"Abby wait" I said, my heart started pounding.

But I was too late. Abby had already plugged the USB in the laptop and clicked on "Play all"

The old pictures of me showed on the screen. the beamer was on, so everyone could see them. Everyone started laughing.

It took a while before the teacher managed to shut everyone up.

 _kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me_ I repeated in my head

 _you can always kill yourself, you know that right? who would care anyway?_ The evil voice replied

We did our presentation and the rest of the day I decided to shut out all my emotions. leaving numbness.

After school I walked back home.

"Hey! I'm home!" I yelled when I entered the livingroom. no reaction. "Hello! mom?" .. again no reaction. Well maybe she went for a walk or something. So I turned on the tv and settled on the couch. Closing my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep. A knock on the door woke me. Did mom forget her keys? I stood up and opened the door. But I didn't see mom there like I expected. I saw two police men in front of me, taking off their hats. My eyes widened.

 **So that was it for this chapter. I really hope you enjoyed it. I started this story a while ago but I couldn't go on with it because my mental health really got in the way. Now, I think a year later, I started it again. Right now I am recovering from selfharm and anorexia so i know what I'm talking about. I decided to go on with the story a few days ago so I didn't have long to write this. So next chapter will be longer! I promise! I'd love to make new friends or talk to people so you can always kik or pm me! And yes, Bella will move to Forks soon and will meet Edward there. I'd love advice for the story! :) If you don't like it than just search for something you do instead of giving hate comments.**

 **lots of love Sascha**


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